Reflection on "Communication Secrets of Great Leaders" (Forbes 2/4/12)

See the article here: 10 Communication Secrets of Great Leaders

This month we Emerging Leaders of DEP are focusing on Communication. In glancing at my Checkpoint 360, I see that I could use some improvement in this area. While my boss and I scored myself well in Communication, my direct reports gave me a less than favorable rating. Also, I can see from my Profile XT that my verbal skill is way out of whack with the level at which others are comfortable communicating. This leads me to believe that the lesson on Communication is very important to my development, and that I should focus my attention on communicating with those who I manage and would like very much to lead.

This article first affected me when it said this: “It is the ability to develop a keen external awareness that separates the truly great communicators from those who muddle through their interactions with others.” This “keen external awareness” is how the author describes communication, and this is interesting because we usually work from the assumption that communication is about making ourselves understood. A 3 year old is pretty effective at making themselves understood, even though they haven’t even fully developed the motor skills to talk clearly. What a 3 year old can’t do—and many adults can’t either—is to communicate in such a way that the person or people on the other end feel what you’re saying, and identify with it.

The next thing that hit me was #6: “Shut up and listen,” and likewise #8 “know what you’re talking about.” It’s embarrassing to say it, but when I was a kid, I was so excited to get my answer or opinion out there that my teacher had to tell me to actually sit on my hands. These days I’ve improved somewhat, and I can usually chill out while other people answer the questions, but it takes effort. Sometimes, I don’t even know what I’m talking about—I just want to be in the conversation.

Number 10 in this list of “communication secrets of great leaders” seemed to go above and beyond what we would normally consider a pretty darn good leader—in this one, the author said that whether you’re speaking to 10 people or 10,000 people, they should feel as if you were “speaking directly to each one of them as an individual.” This one seems pretty challenging, but we’ve all heard a speech that made us feel that way—that makes you feel like they’re speaking directly to you, like they can see what’s in your head. Sometimes a speech like that makes you want to cry, or to at least open your mind to whatever else that person has to say.

So I’m going to keep working on communication, because I want the folks who I lead to be the best versions of themselves they can be. I know I can help them get there, but in order to get there I need to be able to listen to them, understand where they’re coming from, and maybe even someday do that cool trick where every person in the room really hears what you’re saying because they know that you get them, and that you care.